Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for his own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
act excessively jealous and possessive?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm#signs
Is this something that needs to be questioned in your relationship?
I ask you this because I believe it is happening to someone that I love and care for.
The things I see right now is:
criticize you and put you down?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
That is the two scenarios I have seen in her relationship. I did ask her not to see him or be bothered but she likes him and just takes it as he can be a jerk at times.
You see many women/men can be assholes or maybe a jerk at times but that is being misunderstood by many of us. It is different when it comes to name calling, criticizing, puttimg you down (be littering), jealousy and being posessive towards the person that you are in a relationship/married to.
That type of behavior becomes a problem and I know that I will (self) not stand for it. I know I haven't made the best choices in men but the men that I did choose to deal with was not right/good for me but I was not abused,however(Playing head games is a mental thing.And it can become mental abuse. I know we as human beings make our choices and we may not make the right choice for ourselves. We all as people/human beings need to make decisions and choices that may not be right for us but that is called learning and growing from our mistakes.
However, we need to know our self worth and know that we deserve better.
We may get lonely or feel pressures of friends,family and society about being married before a certain age, having children and settling down.
Remember we all have our time and it may not be on our friends, family or society time because we are all different, we are indiviuals with our own likes, dislikes and mistakes. God has someone great for us and it takes patience because we may get (women/men) frustrated and lonely but don't settle just because your friends are involved or even more committed (married). The person that God has for you will come eventually.
Until then we need to go through frogs, and four legged creatures.
It is needed for when we finally meet that man/woman worth waiting for.
I and many others want our family and friends to be with someone that has their best at heart, that someone that treats you with respect and love and if we do not go through the wrong one. Then we will not know a great man/woman once they are finally presented to you.
Note: We do not need to live with any type of abuse (Mentally, Phiysical and Emotional) to know a great man/woman in our future.
So, I ask of you please let go of that someone that means you no good.
Let go of that one that has bad intentions for you, do not allow someone to mentally, physically and emotionally abuse you. Get out of it, talk to someone and ask for help. A woman/man does not love you if he treats you like your nothing but dirt under their feet.
Take control of you, love you and know that there is help out here for you.
It is ok to be by yourself, so that you can focus on you and let it be about you.
I love you and God loves you and wants the best for you.
Know that physical, mental and emotional abuse is not different over any other. It is unwanted abuse to anyone. It is not healthy for you , you and you.
If you know of anyone that is living with abuse, mental, physical or emotional abuse. Please ask them and let him/her know that they are not alone and it is help out there. I have some links and a number for further information and help.
No woman, child or man should want or have to live with any type of abuse....
Speak up if you suspect domestic violence or any type of abuse
Do:
Ask.
Express concern.
Listen and validate.
Offer help.
Support her/him decisions
Don’t:
Wait for her/him to come to you.
Judge or blame.
Pressure her/him.
Give advice.
Place conditions on your support.
Don’t:
Wait for her/him to come to you.
Judge or blame.
Pressure her/him.
Give advice.
Important Comment from Amber (Supporter):
This not only goes for your partner, but also your friends. I have had to dump several friends because they became "toxic". Even if they are abusive to others and not to you, it spreads to you like a virus and infects your life. The best thing to do is to cut them off.
I felt that this is very important as well and I wanted to add this comment.
Do not accept abuse from anyone, partner, family or friends!!!!
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) – A crisis intervention and referral phone line for domestic violence. (Texas Council on Family Violence)
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/emotional_psychological_trauma.htm
http://www.cyberparent.com/abuse/exercise.htm
2 comments:
What a great post. People need to realize there are varying levels or abuse and no type of abuse is okay. This not only goes for your partner, but also your friends. I have had to dump several friends because they became "toxic". Even if they are abusive to others and not to you, it spreads to you like a virus and infects your life. The best thing to do is to cut them off.
I hope your friend gets the help she needs and deserves. Nobody should live with abuse.
i am so glad that you posted this....i was once a victim if abuse and it not only goes with someone that you are in a relationship with but can be just about anybody. it is a shame that after all this time, we still have this as one of the main concerns in our country. hopefully in the future this is will no longer be a problem and a decent solution can be enforced.
kudos!
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